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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145838">Hiraeth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyclarke/pseuds/saeyoungs-sunflower'>saeyoungs-sunflower (sunnyclarke)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Word Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mystic Messenger (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>707 | Choi Luciel's Route, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Home, Implied/Referenced Torture, One Shot, Secret Ending Spoilers (Mystic Messenger)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2017-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2017-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:21:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyclarke/pseuds/saeyoungs-sunflower</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hiraeth (n.): a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character, 707 | Choi Luciel/Reader, RFA &amp; Main Character (Mystic Messenger), RFA (Mystic Messenger) &amp; Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Word Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hiraeth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>PART 1 - The Agent</b>
  </span>
</p><p>“You’re slacking, 707.”</p><p>He knew he wasn’t in his right mind, who would be on a day like this?</p><p>“Listen to me kid, this is serious. You know exactly what happens to people like us when things don’t get done on time. There is a reason they are called <em> deadlines, </em>” Vanderwood said smoothly. </p><p>Luciel felt a chill crawl down his spine at the memory of agent 425, who disappeared out of thin air after ‘a small accident’, which just so happened to take place on the same day that a client complained about a job that had been completed late. Luciel knew the danger of the situation, he knew he needed to just <em> get shit done </em>, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts on track no matter what threats Vanderwood threw his way, “Sorry.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with you? You’re usually much faster than this, are you sick or something?”</p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p>Vanderwood let out a sharp sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. <em> This kid was going to be the death of him. </em>He was no idiot, he knew all this time what was wrong with him. It was the same every year. “Listen, is this because today is the anniversary of when you left home?”</p><p>Luciel flinched at his choice of words. <em> Anniversary </em> sounded too jubilant to be wasted on such  a wretched day, it should only be used for a day that is celebrated, not loathed. However, <em> home </em> was the word that pierced the deepest. That place was not home; it was an empty shell, a hollow space that seemed only to be appropriately filled with the screams and cries of those who were too weak to escape it. <em> That </em>had no privilege to be called home.</p><p>“I said I’m fine, Vanderwood,” he said steadily.</p><p>Vanderwood realised another, lazier sigh. Whilst he wasn’t supposed to, he knew Luciel’s backstory, and he always thought it was one fit for a movie rather than reality. No agent had it easy, but most agents let go, because they <em> chose </em> to kill their old selves. Vanderwood knew deep down, however, that when it came to the bottom of it, the man in front of him had no choice. “Whatever it is, please at least try to focus and get this done. I have things that <em> I </em>need to get done so I’m going to trust that you will finish this, okay?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>As soon as Vanderwood left, Luciel rocked back on his stiff chair. <em> This was torture </em> . He let his mind wonder and his rather vivid imagination take over. He pondered about all the terrific places he could have gone, all the beautiful things he could have seen, all the brilliant people he could have met. <em> Was this really the right choice? What other options did he have? What other ways could he have saved him? </em> He snapped back into reality at the thought, and as if by instinct he reached for the floppy disk hidden inside a book of fairy tales - which was rather ironic - and inserted it into his computer. Everything melted away as he scrolled through the photos of his other half, and his chest ached and he felt a nostalgia flavoured lump form in his throat at the sincerity of their smile that reached their eyes, rosy cheeks plumping from their joy. <em> This </em> is why he went through this torture. It was for <em> him </em>.</p><p>Perhaps Vanderwood was right, maybe he did leave home behind after all.</p><p>Luciel shook his head and shut off his computer, all the colour that enfolded him gradually fading into a cold, bland grey once again. <em> This was for the best </em>. Deciding that he needed a break, he plonked himself onto his bed and logged onto the RFA chatroom.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>Yoosung★:</strong> Failed my midterms fml T_T </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>707:</strong> Cuz u played LOLOL all night lol. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Jumin Han:</strong> If you want to work for our company, you should take care of your GPA. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Yoosung★:</strong> I’m still on the list?! +_+ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Luciel quietly chuckled to himself as he read through the chat, chiming in here and there. He truly loved the RFA; it was the closest thing to family that he currently had, the only secure thing in his rickety life. But he had to put up a barrier between himself and them, to ensure their safety and to prevent things from becoming…<em> complicated </em> with the agency. That barrier just so happened to be painted in garish colours and decorated with jokes and whatever pieces of child-like silliness that he could find within himself — the perfect happy-go-lucky persona, the watertight disguise. This was all a part of the game he had to play, the balls he had to juggle and stones he had to jump between to keep everything in his life as balanced as it could be, as it <em> needed </em> to be.</p><p>Luciel had come to the realisation a long time ago that he would never live an honest or steady life, since it appeared that he would never see his brother again and the RFA could only get so close. He was slowly loosening his grip on the fantasy that he would ever have a true ho-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>707:</strong> Wait!! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Yoosung★:</strong> Why? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>ZEN:</strong> ?? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>707:</strong> Think someone entered the chatroom;; </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>* * *</b>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>PART 2 - The Apartment</b> </span>
</p><p>“Seven, why the headphones? Are you avoiding me?”</p><p><em> Dammit. </em>He knew his meaningless flirting in the chatroom was turning into something…maybe not so meaningless. Now he was here with her in Rika’s apartment, and his arms were too weak to hold up the mask that he wore easily in the chatroom.</p><p>His barrier had started to erode and became fragile, and MC just so happened to be wielding a hammer with no indication of mercy.</p><p>This way was for the best, he thought. Just push her away and eventually she will give up, she’ll move on and be happy with someone else. Someone with an honest life, a good job and a secure future. This was right. This was good. This would 100% ensure her safety and well being.</p><p>
  <em> So why did it hurt so much? </em>
</p><p>He carried on typing to stop himself looking back at her, otherwise he would never be able to say no to her. He kept his focus as his fingers flew across the keyboard as if electricity was coursing through his veins. <em> It felt like that too.  </em></p><p>He glanced at the clock and noticed that he had been working for several hours, which meant it had been several hours since MC had last spoken to him. Did his plan work? Had he finally got her stay away? <em> Was she finally safe? </em></p><p>In that sense he was relieved, but something just wouldn’t settle in his stomach. They had only known each other for a week, but he knew MC well. She was stubborn, there was no way she would have given up so easily. He slowly removed his headphones, expecting to hear the sound of pans clashing in the kitchen or the shower running or loud music leaking through earphones. <em> Nothing. </em> Feeling his stomach churn, he darted to the kitchen. <em> Not there. </em> Bathroom? <em> Not there. </em> Living room? <em> Not there. </em></p><p>His heart was pounding against his ribs as he frantically searched the apartment, nearly turning it upside down. <em> Shit. </em>His breath started to grow more rapid as memories of her spilled into his mind from when his beloved twin almost took her away from him. For the first time in his life, some things clicked:</p><p>
  <em> “Seven!!!! I love you!!!” </em>
</p><p>He was<em> loved. </em></p><p>
  <em> “Seven…are you okay?” </em>
</p><p>He was <em> cared for. </em></p><p>
  <em> “Alright, I’ll trust you, Seven.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He was safe. </em>
</p><p>Seven froze as he reached the one room in the house he hadn’t yet searched: her bedroom. Lightly he rested his ear on the door, only to hear gentle and quiet sobs coming from the other side. His beaten heart split right down the middle and he squeezed his eyes shut to prevent his own tears spilling out. Gathering up all the strength he could find within his shattering form, he gently knocked on her door.</p><p>“MC?”</p><p>The crying abruptly stopped, apart from a few sniffles before a small voice peeped from the other side of the door, “Y-yeah?”</p><p>“Can I come in?”</p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p>Slowly he clicked the door open and creeped into the dim room. He could just make out her crumpled figure lying on the bed, hiding her face from him. He knew it, she was stubborn. He knew he shouldn't have, but he impulsively wrapped his long arms around her body in a tight embrace. MC was shocked at first, but eventually gave into his warmth and wrapped her own arms around his torso, her head resting in the crook of his neck, “I-I just-“</p><p>“Shhh it’s okay, MC, I know.”</p><p>Together they stayed there in silence. Neither spoke, neither needed to. They just sat in each other’s arms as their breathing and heart beat synced. Time passed and MC could feel her eyelids growing heavier and heavier, until the power of sleep over took her. Seven felt her eyelids flutter shut against his neck, and gently laid her down on the bed as to not wake her.</p><p>When he was sure she was going to stay asleep, he removed his arm from under her and placed the blanket over her sleeping form. Before leaving her to rest, he pressed a gentle kiss against her forehead, “I’m sorry, MC, but I think I might be a little bit in love with you.”</p><p>And with that, he went back to work. New thoughts started flooding into his brain, thoughts of how he had almost lost her twice. Once to Saeran, once to herself.</p><p>He found her, then he saved her.</p><p>He saved her, then he shoved her away.</p><p>
  <em> He found home, then he burnt it down. </em>
</p><p>Seven laughed despite himself, at his own foolishness and the absurdity of the situation he had found himself in. <em> People like me aren’t supposed to settle </em> , he thought to himself, <em> we’re supposed to forget. </em></p><p>
  <em> We’re made to lose. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> * * * </em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b>PART 3 - The Housewarming Party</b> </span>
</p><p>“Hello? Earth to Saeyoung?”</p><p>Saeyoung snapped back into reality and turned his head away from the view of the bustling city to find an even more stunning view before him, “Terribly sorry ma'am, the Defender of Justice just received a call from the Space Station. Apparently they have run out of napkins for our wedding so we will have to bring some ourselves.”</p><p>MC playfully swatted his shoulder before hugging his arm and looking out to the rest of the dusk-lit city. This was their favourite time to observe the view; all the little lights from the buildings blended perfectly with the stars, a light breeze flowed through the air, and it was <em> quiet. </em>The only sound to be heard was the music coming from inside their new house. More specifically, music from musicals - it was Jaehee’s turn to choose, after all. MC looked up at her fiancé before pressing a kiss on his shoulder, “This is our home now.”</p><p>“I guess it is. We did a pretty good job finding this place. Nice neighbours, amazing view, gre-“</p><p>Saeyoung was interrupted by MC’s giggles, not that he minded one bit. In fact, he would happily stay quiet for the rest of his life just to hear her heavenly laugh. <em> God, he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to this. </em>She settled down and once again rested her chin on his shoulder, “That’s not what I meant. I mean, you’re not wrong, it is a lovely house. But, that’s all it is right now, a house. It will become home in time.”</p><p>“And what is home to you, oh wise MC,” Saeyoung queried.</p><p>She shot him a teasing glare before turning serious again, “Well, I think home can be a lot of things. A place, an object, a person, an idea…anything. It’s not really about <em> what </em> it is, it’s the feelings that you get from it. It’s where you go when you have nowhere else, where your heart takes you when you are most lost. Home is where you feel at peace, the same feeling you get when you get a hug or you're wrapped up on the couch watching your favourite movie. When you’re home, you’re cared for and looked after. It’s a bandage, a medicine, a kiss better. Home is warm, it’s safe, it’s <em> love.” </em></p><p>When he didn’t respond, MC turned to Saeyoung but was caught off guard when he leaned forward placing a firm but soft kiss on her lips. He laced his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him as she wrapped her own arms around his neck. They could go on forever, completely lost yet found in each other, a middle-ground that neither could describe. But a familiar salty taste brought MC back to her senses. She loosened her grip to look up at him, tears streaming down his face. She would have asked him what was wrong, but she didn’t need to. She knew the answer, and she knew those tears had been held back for a long time. So instead, she just gently wiped away his liquified fears with her sleeve, never to be seen again, “And what is home to you, Saeyoung?”</p><p>He let the corners of his mouth curl upwards and leaned towards her again, his hand cradling her neck. <em> Yes, </em> he thought to himself, <em> this is it, right? This is hom- </em></p><p>“Ew."</p><p>Almost flying apart, their eyes darted towards the doorway only to find a familiar figure standing in the middle of it, “S-Saeran!”</p><p>“Uh sorry to…interrupt but um we’re going to take some photos inside…” Saeran said, suddenly finding the floor incredibly interesting as he rocked on his feet.</p><p>“Oh yes of course! We’ll be back in just a second,” Saeyoung replied cheerfully.</p><p>“Actually, uh, Saeyoung?”</p><p>Saeyoung cocked an eyebrow, “Yes, Saeran?”</p><p>“I just wanted to say,” he paused, as if trying to collect his bravery before he could back out, “thank you for letting me…live here with you guys. I know I’ve been a lot to handle over the past few years, but thank you for not giving up on me and watching over me. When you first helped me escape that place, I thought I was being betrayed, but now I see that you took so many risks to help me and save me. Thank you, you two…are my family and I..love you both.”</p><p>Both Saeyoung and MC were stunned to silence at this sudden outburst. Honestly, Saeyoung’s initial thought was that Saeran was just playing some sick trick on him, but the rosy flush over his cheeks told him otherwise. The couple had noticed that Saeran had been quieter lately, was this why?</p><p>Saeran’s figure started to blur through Saeyoung’s tears. Overcome with emotion, he lunged towards his twin and engulfed him in his arms, which Saeran reluctantly returned. <em> One step at a time. </em></p><p><em> “ </em>Um, should we go and take the photos now?” Saeran said, though his voice was muffled in his brother’s hoodie.</p><p>“Yes, yes we should,” Saeyoung quickly wiped his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie, “um, you two go ahead, I’ll be right behind you!” he shot them his signature cheery grin.</p><p>“Okay, don’t stay out too long, it’s getting cold out here,” MC said before pecking his cheek and following Saeran inside. She linked arms with him and ruffled his messy hair with her free hand, the sight making something warm bubble in Saeyoung’s chest. His heart may have been damaged and bruised, but it was healing. They were healing him. Maybe home wasn’t just one thing, maybe it was in the form of two people. A family, perhaps.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Saeyoung strolled back inside his new house. The whole RFA was there preparing for the photo.</p><p>“Jumin, move! You’re blocking my good side!”</p><p>“Every side is your good side, Zen.”</p><p>“Well, you’re not wrong, Jaehee.”</p><p>“Yoosung, you’re standing on my foot. Please remove it.”</p><p>“Oh! Sorry Jumin! I’ll just sit here instead.”</p><p>Saeyoung chuckled fondly at them, which grabbed the attention of the blonde who was moving round the red sofa, “Saeyoung! You’re back! We saved you a space next to MC and Saeran.”</p><p>Taking his place on the sofa, he peered round at all his friends. They were all smiling at him, at each other, laughing and settling into their positions. Saeyoung felt that familiar warmth in his chest before something clicked.</p><p>“Ready!”</p><p>He had waited so long.</p><p>“3!”</p><p>This was it.</p><p>“2!”</p><p>He found it.</p><p>“1!”</p><p><em> It </em>found him.</p><p>
  <em> Click. </em>
</p><p><em> “ </em>Woohoo! Good job gang! It looks great!”</p><p>“Lemme see!”</p><p>“Me too!”</p><p>“I would like to see.”</p><p>“Jaehee, can you see it from there?”</p><p>“I can, it’s wonderful.”</p><p>Only MC and Saeyoung were left on the couch, and a few moments passed before MC spoke up, watching his face carefully, “You okay?”</p><p>Saeyoung’s eyes were fixed on the group in front of him before he faced the love of his life, unable to fight the smile that creeped up his face. Not that he wanted to fight it, anyway. “I think I know what home is to me now.”</p><p>MC smiled gently at him, relieved that he had finally found peace, “I’m so happy you found it, my love. You deserve it.”</p><p>Saeyoung leaned back on the couch, MC in his arms and observing the chaos in front of him. Sure, it was messy, but it was <em> his </em> mess. It took him his whole life up to this point to find his safe haven, and it finally came to save him. The RFA was home, his brother was home, the woman in his arms was home.</p><p><em> This </em>was home.</p>
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